Back to school – Thank %$#@!

I love my kids, I really do, but when you realise it was easier to change their nappy, give them a bottle of warm milk and put them in a cradle swing for 8 hours a day, it just makes you think. When we had 4 kids under the age of 5 I thought that was tough. That was easy compared to the walking/talking beasts people they are now. The 3 oldest girls are either teen or pre-teen and the boy is 9. In my opinion they all need to go to boarding school, in another country.

I awoke this morning with excitement about the idea of all 4 of them back at school today after a long 6 weeks on holidays. This was short lived and I stayed in bed pretending to be asleep as long as I could. I then realised I had to do the token first day delivery of all the tissues and books and also get the 2 oldest to high school at the right time – 15 minutes from when they told me. My first task was to solve the mystery of the missing hairbrushes. Yep – 3 daughters and only one hairbrush on the first day of school. ABSOLUTE CARNAGE and tears/screams. Upon investigation I found that we do in fact have more than one – and they were all in the same bathroom that they were all fighting in. See picture below of my findings…


I then decided after dropping the kids off to try and find out where all my teaspoons had gone as we were low on them and it is frustrating to have to use a table spoon for sugar in your coffee. Two places I found teaspoons, so far:

  1. In the bin of my middle daughter’s room. Of course. Eat your Hungry Jacks coke drink with a teaspoon and then throw away the whole lot out! I have been doing this wrong for so long

   2.  On the desk of my oldest daughter with the cornflour container. Again, not sure why this is a thing but I have noticed a sharp decline in our shampoo, contact lens solution and cornflour over the holidays (Recently this has been attributed to the craze of making slime with all the goods your parent buy for other purposes).

I continued my post school holiday cleanup and found one of the tablets I must have hidden when in a rage about usage and fights. I completely forgot that I had put it in the bottom of the pantry behind the chips.

I then realised I didn’t have any water bottles in the fridge to take out with me today so went around the house looking for any we may have. I found them all in a range of rooms and places, mostly empty of water. This is a never ending battle, as the kids say the need them for night time when they get thirsty, yet place the bottle right next to the 3 empty cups that have previously used.

Then as I left to go out for the day I found a solitary thong on the lawn and brought it to the shoe rack only to realise it was not a pair, and of size that is not what any of my kids have. It was too small for anyone and must belong to the one legged little girl down the road. I shall return this to her this afternoon.

I have composed myself after this morning and the purge, and am quite happy sitting having a coffee and contemplating the silence of when I get home and the kids are still at school.


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